


A First Time For Everything

by degreesofinsanity



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Coming Untouched, Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, First Time Blow Jobs, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Unused titty window, Virgin Hux, Virhux and Slutlo, don't take this seriously, goddamnit, slut kylo, this was supposed to be a crack oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:39:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7686676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/degreesofinsanity/pseuds/degreesofinsanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo finds out Hux is a virgin and offers to teach him the ways of the cock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A First Time For Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This...was supposed to be just a crack drabble. I apologize. I wrote this at 2 am in the morning and I feel like death. I hope this floats some boats.

This was the day, Kylo could feel it.

This was the day he’d get a kiss ( _and maybe a little bit more_ ) from General Hux.

For the record, this would be the _twentieth_ time he’d try and seduce his co-commander, the previous ones were obviously all failures. But today, oh, today Kylo Ren was armed to the teeth with all the tricks he’d learned from brothels on his travels.

Checking himself in front of the mirror, Kylo made sure he looked irresistible, patting his cheeks to make it as if he were ‘blooming’ or whatever it said on that female fashion holozine. He’d followed everything that he could do in it including the ‘ ** _Three steps to lean legs and a tight butt!_** ’.

Kylo had to say that they really did work as he saw himself in the mirror, stretching out his legs and turning around to check how his arse looked, smirking at his reflection.

No way could General Hux resist _this_.

Sexy Sith Perfume? ( _Smell like Darth Vader! Guaranteed to make everyone faint from how sexy you are!_ ) Check!

Pants tight in just the right places? Check!

Modified robes to have a nice, wide, titty window? Check!

Lips painted in a lovely unnameable shade of red that the Twi’lek he’d bought it from had assured him that it made his lips look ‘absolutely fuckable’? Check!

Hair artfully fluffed and styled? Check!

Not even that stupidly sexy Resistance pilot would be able to resist his charms.

With a smirk, Kylo headed out of his quarters, the stiletto boots he wore clacking against the floor, ready to conquer the immovable force that was Armitage Hux.

* * *

 

Hux leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples with a disgruntled sigh. More work, more problems. He could already feel the headache coming on and he pinched the bridge of his nose, head bowed, ready to chew out whoever dared interrupt him when he heard the door slide open.

“General Hux.” Oh for kriff’s sake, it just had to be the most annoying person on the ship, didn’t it? The general gritted his teeth and looked up, whatever he was about to saying dying on his lips.

What. The. Kriff.

Kylo Ren was dressed like a five star Corellian whore, was the only way Hux could describe it, the Force user took advantage of Hux’s speechlessness and walked towards him with a little sway to his hips, sitting himself down on the table and crossing his legs.

“General, it’s quite rude to stare.” Kylo said, deliberately pushing out his chest, leaning in, a smirk on his colored lips, as if they weren’t distracting enough without the lipstick.

Hux swallowed thickly, Ren was too close and he could already smell the other man ( _it was a complex scent, but if he had to describe it, Hux would say it smelled like what a desert would smell like._ ), he quickly got up from his chair, “What do you want, Ren? I have no time for your games.” 

“Don’t be so mean, Hux,” Kylo all but purred his name, “I just wanted to check on you, that’s all. See how you’re doing, maybe have a nice… _chat_.” Sliding off the table, the taller man grinned, eyes dropping down to Hux’s crotch, “Come on, I know you want me, that cute bulge in your trousers doesn’t lie.”

The ginger hurriedly covered himself, sitting back down as his face burned with embarrassment. In truth, he did feel some form of attraction for the younger man, but that wasn’t the problem. It was the fact that Hux himself was, as loathe as he was to admit it, a _virgin_. During his Academy days, nobody interested him and he was too busy getting to the top of his class. As an officer in the First Order, it was the same situation, and for when he did get erections, his hand was already enough.

That all changed when Kylo kriffing Ren came on board with his swishy dramatic robes and ominous behavior. And when the mask came off, well, Hux had found himself wanking to that face nearly every night before he went to sleep.

Kylo, impatient and brash as always, went ahead to take a little dip in Hux’s mind to see what he was thinking about, eyes widening in surprise when he heard that single word echoing in the general’s head.

 **Virgin**.

With a wicked grin of delight, Kylo caged Hux in his chair by setting his hands down on the armrests, trapping him effectively as he leaned in to whisper, “You’ve been hiding things from me, General. You, an untouched flower? _Your sword unpolished by a stranger’s hand_?”

Hux tensed up, already preparing himself to be mocked, Kylo’s hot breath against his ear, his face flushed pink, trying to stay unaffected by their close proximity. The Force user chuckled deeply and nuzzled against Hux’s neck, pressing his lips on the soft skin, hearing Hux’s gasp.

“I have so many things to teach you, Hux, will you give me your permission?”

Teach him? What? Hux had expected Kylo to tease him cruelly like all the others did, and instead he was being propositioned? “I…” He met the other’s eyes, biting his lips, “I...suppose I can allow it.”   
  
“Good!” The brunette pulled back only to fall onto his knees, hands on Hux’s lap, “First lesson! Blowjobs!” Kylo grinned up at Hux’s shocked face, “It’s my specialty, you know, I pride myself in being the _best cocksucker_ in the galaxy.” 

“W-Wait, wouldn’t the first lesson be kissing?” Hux squeaked, blushing, feeling a sudden stab of jealousy at the thought of Kylo’s beautiful mouth anywhere near another man’s dick. “Oh, Hux, kissing is easy.” Kylo unzipped his trousers, taking out Hux’s half-hard cock, winking up at him, “Besides, blowjobs are much more fun.”

Kylo gently coaxed Hux’s cock to full hardness with soft, kitten licks and small strokes, pressing it against his cheek when it was finally hard for him. “You get stiff so easily, how cute.” Kylo dropped a perverse imitation of a kiss onto the head of Hux’s cock, leaving a dark red lipmark right around the leaking slit. With a hungry expression on his face, the Force user smirked and said,

“You look absolutely delicious, General, I’ll be having my dinner early it seems like.”

Parting his lips, Kylo took every inch of Hux in his mouth and down his tight throat, pausing to look up at the general, his nose buried in soft ginger hair, possibly leaving another lipmark around the base. Hux felt like he was in heaven, he’d always thought that blowjobs were just messy, and now that it was finally happening to him, he could finally see the appeal of the act.

Kylo’s mouth was hot and wet, lips forming a tight seal around the shaft, not even gagging as he started to bob his head up and down between Hux’s legs, his own cock stiff in his trousers. Pulling back with a wet ‘pop’, Kylo mouthed at the crown, pumping the base as he breathed hard, “Look, Hux, I’ve painted your cock a pretty red.” Hux looked down and moaned; his dick was riddled with smudged lipmarks and covered in shiny spit, glancing at Kylo’s face. Arousal pooled in his gut and he reached down to pet the taller man’s messy hair, gripping it tightly, the sight of the Force user on his knees, lipstick smudged and lips slick with saliva and precome nearly made him come, groaning, “Kriff, Kylo, you’re so beautiful…” He slurred, dizzy with need, “Please...please, I need more..”

“At your service, sir.” Kylo slid his mouth back onto the twitching cock in front of him, moaning happily at the sensation of Hux’s cock heavy on his tongue, the tip hitting the back of his throat, making him swallow. After a few minutes of this, Kylo started to get a little adventurous and gently grazed his teeth on the tip, humming around the sensitive shaft. “I-I’m close!” Hux gasped, hips stuttering, pushing Kylo back and throwing his head back as he came, crying out the other’s name in the heat of the moment, his seed splattering onto his co-commander’s face, painting him in white streaks.

Kylo definitely wasn’t expecting that, but he let Hux do what he wanted, not minding at all, falling back on his arse, licking his lips clean of come, “Well, that was certainly unexpected.” He said, voice husky, “I was hoping you’d come down my throat, but we can do that next time.” Glancing up at the general, he saw that the other was barely even listening, too busy staring down at his cock and at Kylo’s mouth in wonder to listen. “Hux! Hey, are you with me?”

Hux snapped out of his thoughts and grinned dumbly at Kylo, “Yeah, I mean, yes, yes I am. That was amazing, does it always feel that good? Or do other factors affect the sensations? Variables like what you’re wearing, and maybe location…” He started muttering to himself, “I have to make a spreadsheet of this and catalog all the data…”

Seeing that Hux was too deep in his thoughts, Kylo rolled his eyes and gave up, standing shakily, his clothes a mess, lipstick smudged to hell and his face covered in come, “I’ll be back a few cycles from now, same time, don’t forget.” He said, but also wrote a note, leaving it on Hux’s table where the other was already opening up a spreadsheet, cock still out. Shaking his head, Kylo left the other’s office, skipping despite the uncomfortable sticky feeling of his own come between his legs, humming a little tune as he went back to his own quarters and ignoring the shocked looks the other officers were giving him.

 

Today was a good day, and he’d gotten more than a kiss.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for this atrocity.


End file.
